Be Careful What You Wish For

Not sure why everyone is cheering Rick Perry’s decision not to inflict himself on Texas for another four years given that he is likely to be replaced by Greg Abbott, who’s just as vicious but not nearly as stupid. I like Wendy Davis as much as the next Democrat; she even reminds me a little of Ann Richards, but let’s be real. Democrats are not going to win statewide in Texas next year. I’d love to be proved wrong, but I think this state is still a decade away from competitiveness.

Rick Perry: Still A Piece of Shit (but with good hair)

It does not surprise me in the slightest that Perry has decided to further brutalize 1.2 million working poor Texans by “proudly” refusing expanded Medicare funds.  In fact, the only thing that surprises me is that he didn’t beat Bobby Jindal to the punch.  Still, it does add to an already fascinating speculation on just what, exactly, Perry has in place of a human soul:  bullshit?  Aqua Velva?  His secret collection of back-issue GQ?  The mind reels.

“I give THIS much of a shit about you working class peasant mo-fo’s”

How Stupid is Rick Perry?

Yes, I realize this could be an endless thread, but in this particular instance, the answer is, “Rick Perry is so stupid he caused an international incident with a country that has been our ally for 60 years (Turkey) with a moronic comment during a debate.”

It’s becoming increasingly harder to quantify just how cosmically stupid Rick Perry truly is.  We can no longer just compare him, unfavorably, to George W. Bush.  In fact, Perry makes George W. Bush look like Winston Churchill, Thomas Jefferson and Sam Houston all rolled up into one.  Nor would I compare him to an animal (a jackass, say, or a pissant) as that would be an insult to animals, though clearly this is neither the first nor the last time the words “Rick Perry” and “Turkey” have appeared in the same sentence.  I think, instead, we are forced to compare his wits to those of inanimate objects.  We would say, for instance, that Rick Perry is dumb as a bag of hammers.

UPDATE:  Rick Perry is so stupid, he can’t get on the ballot in Virginia, even with an utterly frivolous lawsuit.  I assume this was all a conspiracy by liberal activist judges.

UPDATE 2:  Rick Perry now too dumb to know “fetch” from “sic ’em”.

Published in: on January 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Attention, Rick Perry…

…you know what to do.

And a special shout-out to the voters of Texas for electing this prissy, arrogant moron as governor not once, not twice, but three times.  Way to go!


Published in: on November 10, 2011 at 8:41 am  Leave a Comment  

We’re Boned, Part 257 Of An Ongoing Series

Just in case you were wondering just how bad off YOUR local school district will be under Rick Perry and the Republican Sooper-Dooper Majority, you can look it up here.  Once again, thank you dedicated voters of Texas for putting this drooling gang of morons in charge of fixing the problem they created.  Good work, there.  Give yourselves a cookie.

Published in: on May 31, 2011 at 11:34 am  Leave a Comment  

All I Want For Christmas

Dear Lord, You know I don’t ask for much, but please please PLEASE let this smug, prissy, ignorant pissant run for president.  Amen.

Published in: on May 18, 2011 at 5:08 pm  Comments (1)  
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Thanks for All the Votes, Suckers!

Is it humanly possible for Rick Perry to come across as more of a smug prick?  He knows that he can now say or do damn near anything–destroy education in this state, raise taxes while accepting a public tongue-bath from Grover Norquist, bite the heads off kittens on live television–because the majority of voters in Texas have clearly signaled they don’t give a rat’s ass about anything other than preventing illegal aliens from getting gay married under Sharia law and then having abortions.  So thanks, Texas voters!  Great job!

Published in: on March 11, 2011 at 10:44 am  Comments (1)  
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A Tale of Three Nitwits

The official State of the Union response by Paul Ryan, a disingenuous hack, and the unofficial Tea Partier by Michelle Bachman, a complete and utter loon who hates the troops.

Meanwhile, back in Texas, alleged Governor Rick Perry freely admits that he hates public schools, especially ones that serve brown people, and doesn’t think your kids are worthy of art, science, or college placement classes because they are only fit for manual labor.  If there’s a more smug, vicious, condescending prick in elective office anywhere, I haven’t met him yet.

This is the best the Republic Party has to offer.

We’re Screwed

Texas is TWENTY-SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS in the hole and the Official State Clown Car just pulled up to the Capitol to disgorge 101 Republicans, each one more ass-scratchin’ pig dumber than the last.  Meanwhile, our governor is the only person imaginable who makes George W. Bush look like an intellectual giant.  Plus, Bob Bullock (prime minister to Dubya as Queen of England) is dead.  By the end of the session, I expect the Legislature will collapse into anarchy and cannibalism and the entire state to be annexed by Venezuela.  Or sold to Halliburton.

Published in: on January 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Rick Perry: Hypocritical Prick

Consistency is so rare in politics these days.  It’s refreshing, therefore, that Rick Perry is consistently full of shit.

Published in: on May 26, 2010 at 9:11 pm  Comments (1)  
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