It’s Not Just Craddick

Wily Tennessee Democrats punk’d their would-be Republican Speaker, too.

Published in: on January 14, 2009 at 8:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Goodbye, Farewell, Amen…

Tom Craddick: bully, coward, thug.  Unemployed.  Even better, replaced by a (for Texas) moderate Republican.  Unsurprisingly, Rob Orr, who had previously been firmly lodged in Craddick’s duodenum, went for the new Craddick, Smithee, then jumped ship with the other rats at the last minute.

Published in: on January 5, 2009 at 10:30 pm  Comments (2)  
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Craddick Agonistes, Redux

A secret ballot would seem to doom everyone’s least favorite egomaniacal legislative dictator (even his supporters are getting disgusted), but many people (including me) have written Craddick’s political obituary before.  He’s harder to kill than a cockroach.

Published in: on November 15, 2008 at 10:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Someone Alert Homeland Security!

In a blast from the past, dozens of House members walked out of the chamber, breaking quorum to protest the shabby, petty (and increasingly crumbling) dictatorship of Speaker Tom Craddick.

More from Kuff and BOR and the Observer.

Texas democracy: a full-body contact sport.

Published in: on May 29, 2007 at 1:48 am  Leave a Comment  

Who Does Tom Craddick Think He Is…

George W. Bush? Apparently, there’s a “Unitary Speaker,” too. And with an “enemies list,” Craddick is apparently channeling the ghost of Dick Nixon, too.
Actually, all this is pretty damned entertaining; reminds me of the old days with Gib Lewis, Gus Mutscher, guys like that. BOR thinks Janek’s threat to filibuster the budget is really just water-carrying for Dewhurst, who hates Craddick’s guts (hey, get in line!) and knows the Speaker can’t survive a special session.
It’s too damned bad Molly Ivins isn’t still around; she would’ve loved this.

Eye on Williamson has more. Never fear, though, Mr. Speaker; Dan Patrick has your back. The Texas Observer (pissing off the powerful for 50+ years) has a breakdown on where Craddick’s bribe money–excuse me, I mean special higher education appropriations–has gone. Oh, apparently all this has happened before, in 1870. What is it with Republican Speakers of the Texas House? Is there some kind of curse?

Published in: on May 27, 2007 at 7:39 am  Leave a Comment  

Craddick Agonistes Strikes Again

I’ll believe it when I see it. Craddick is like a cockroach. And he’s also hard to get rid of.

UPDATE: The SS Craddick continues to take on water. Two more formerly secure water-tight bulkheads are breached. Craddick’s pet Democrats desert the sinking ship. And despite valiant attempts to plug the leaks with $168 million in bribes–er, special higher education appropriations–her bow is starting to dip beneath the waves.

UPDATE 2: And now the damn lawyers are after him! Wow, Tom Craddick sued for being a petty, bullying, self-important thug! Bet nobody saw that one coming…

Published in: on May 22, 2007 at 10:40 am  Leave a Comment  

Republicans Devour Their Own

Jim Keffer (R-Eastland) announces for Speaker, though he decides against stabbing Caesar in the back immediately. Tom Craddick (R-Fascist Sock Puppet) declines to go quietly into that good night. Keffer and Craddick are, of course, birds of a feather, who fly in circles because they have only a Right wing. A plague on their House.

In other news, David Dewhurst is a chickenshit. Film at eleven.

Published in: on May 16, 2007 at 8:35 am  Leave a Comment  

Speaker answers Barkman comments

Dear Editor:
Your paper recently published a column by Patrick Barkman titled “How not to fire US attorneys.” The column’s author falsely claimed that I “recently killed a provision to create a standing special prosecutor to investigate TYC (Texas Youth Commission) abuses.” Three weeks ago, House Bill 472, a bill that would expand the jurisdiction of the special prosecution unit to include the prosecution of crimes committed in TYC facilities, was discovered to contain a technical error while being debated on the House floor. The bill was sent back to the House Corrections Committee, where is was amended and voted out again by the committee last week. it will likely be debated on the floor sometime later this month. Everyone realizes this is an important tool in addressing systemic problems at the TYC; however, it is equally important to insure that the legislation is drafted in a way that will provide the best outcome when prosecuting crimes that occur within the TYC. I anticipate House Bill 472 to pass the House. In light of the recent revelations of the abhorrent behavior at the Texas Youth Commission, it is my hope that this legislation will go toward helping to fix this broken agency.
Tom Craddick
Speaker of the Texas House

UPDATE: Normally, I don’t respond to fan mail, but this release from the Speaker’s press-droid is so outrageously false that the very stones themselves cry out for an answer. During the debate in question, House Minority Leader Jim Dunnam offered an amendment to HB 472 that would’ve created a special prosecutor, not merely codified the ability of district and county attorneys to request one, as in the original language of the bill. The amendment was adopted 75-63 on a bipartisan vote. Rep. Larry Phillips (R-Sherman) then raised a technical objection to the analysis of the bill and one paragraph that accidentally dropped a word or two. The Speaker could have overruled this minor and irrelevant point, but chose instead to sustain it. Thus, a bill that would’ve gone into effect back in late March still hasn’t passed. This delay (and if the bill dies before the session ends, the death of the bill) can be laid, like a flaming bag of dog crap, at the feet of Speaker Tom Craddick.

Published in: on April 15, 2007 at 10:26 pm  Comments (4)  

Tom Craddick: Backstabbing Poltroon

He also hates children. Probably puppies and kittens, too.
Okay, Mr. Rose? Mr. Turner? Your assignment is for each of you to write “I will not kiss Tom Craddick’s ass” 100 times on the blackboard.

Published in: on March 20, 2007 at 8:58 am  Leave a Comment  

Craddick Beats House Into Submission

Craven Republicans beg for mercy from their newly re-annointed Dread Overlord as he is carried into the Royal Chamber on a golden litter borne by 14 stout Democratic bootlickers. Once again, from the Dick Cheney White House, to Tom DeLay, to Tom Craddick, we see very clearly what it takes to be a Republican today: have your spine removed and become a lickspittle minion. That rumbling sound you hear? That’s Abraham Lincoln spinning in his grave at the transformation of the GOP into a gang of cowardly, toadying sycophants. Pathetic.